There’s only one kind of genuine therapist.
The wanna-be healer * thinks * they have done ALL the work. This is as dangerous as it could ever get.
The genuine therapist knows that transference and counter-transference can occur in any dynamic at any time especially so since an intrinsic power differential exists between therapist and client. The genuine therapist therefore has solid support structures / people in place to personally work through any counter-transference that arises to ensure no retraumatisation occurs for the client as a result of their behaviour.
NB the wanna-be healer often has no idea what the above even means … usually because they don’t have any solid qualifications that would otherwise teach them and hold them accountable for their part.
One sure sign you’re dealing with an unsafe wanna-be is when they do or say something that feels off to you and when you mention it they tell you it’s just your experience and a reflection for you. The fact that they’ve gone into defence rather than take a moment to check in with themselves to see what might be their part here is a clue. Sure, they do not need to work through their counter-transference on your session time (that needs to be done within their own support structures) but to automatically shift full blame onto you is not ok. Some acknowledgement and humility may be needed and is often the very expression that is healing for the client. It is a relationship first and foremost and the safe, genuinely caring relationship itself is the foundation for the real healing, not any intellectual, philosophical or spiritual dogma.
A skilful therapist also encourages the client to bring their transference with the therapist into the open and maturely uses this as valuable information to support the client to process, examine and integrate something around the theme rather than shut it down out of fear of what it might bring up personally for them.
